A curious topic you might think.
And, “what has this got to do with health and wellbeing” may be the first thing you consider.
But think about it. How we treat our body and our mind is a reflection of how we see ourselves, how we think about our place in this world, our accomplishments, our shortfalls.
Our self awareness can be positive, and drive who we present to the world … or it can be negative … and drive who we present to the world. Either way, what others see and experience about us is the product of our own appreciation of ourselves and how we have embraced our ‘Personal Genius’.
Unfortunately, who we have grown to be is more often than not the result of the myriad of influences impacting us from Day One … from parents, family members, friends, work, social media … the list goes on. And while we have the power to control and filter what we let in, unfortunately our unconscious mind doesn’t miss anything. And, over time, we become someone we love, slightly like, like from time to time, hate.
And … it is this range of emotions that in turn help create our mental health, the health we then go on to embrace our physical health through our emotional state.
For most people it is easy to blame others … to see control as coming from outside you, meaning it becomes easy to blame others and events for who you are, and to use that as an excuse for continuing on in this way.
However, to accept responsibility for all you are and have become is to nurture your relationship to yourself, investigating and holding the fullness of who you are, the gifts and the wounds, the success and failures … all you have experienced that has brought you into your ‘current reality’. And, it is the first step to becoming someone you like … even love … the first step to living well.
Any type of love is an action … a response to, or instigator of, someone or something you value. So
… self-love is no different. It is practiced commitment to the care and wellbeing of self, in all its glory. It is allowing ourselves to shine, and to accept and ‘befriend’ who we are, the good and bad, the beliefs that make us who others see, if we let them.
But … embracing self-love is not an exercise in ‘fixing yourself’, of turning yourself into someone you have decided is who you should be, and someone others will like and want to associate with. Instead, it is about realising you for who you are.
It is about liberating yourself from all the negativity of thoughts that could never serve you, the times you were hard on yourself, the occasions when you shied away from someone or something because you felt ‘inadequate’ or incapable of living up to expectations (yours that is, not others’).
Self-love is liberating. It is being kind, supportive and nurturing to yourself, regardless of what is happening in your life. It is healing energy that fosters positive physical health.
Okay, so we have established the ‘power’ of self-love. But … “how can I achieve this; I have always been hard on myself” is probably coming to mind for most at this point.
So, how can you deepen your connection to yourself, and celebrate who you really are … not the perfect being you might have wanted to be seen as, but as the person who has value and passion for life … on their terms?
Think about how any or all of the following practices can help you grow your inner facing love … your self-love:
Cultivate solitude, and provide ‘space’ to become acquainted with your inner voice (and learn to distinguish between our ‘gut intuition’ rather than the programmed or fear-driven impressions that have followed you for a lifetime).
Embrace mistake-making as a necessary part of growth (choosing accountability instead of self-blame … creating an inner focus of responsibility rather than an external focus of excuse).
Communicate to others how you wish to be treated.
Create and respect your own boundaries … the mental and emotional framework that you feel is safe, comfortable and dependable.
Prioritize care for your body, mind and spirit (feeding yourself positive thoughts that reinforce physical action).
Identify and engage with what makes you feel alive, what feeds your vitality, what drives you forward with positive anticipation and belief.
You see, we all have a choice in life. To be who we are … or to be what we think others want us to be. One, or both, can create self-love, if embraced openly and with positive intent.
But, for far too many, trying to be what they believe others expect of them, or trying to be like others that appear successful, creates negativity, feelings of failure and of (eventually) self-hate … not a great place to live life from, and the potential birth of poor motivation, low self-esteem and self-confidence at best, and of stress, depression at worst.
Both potential outcomes are the precursors of mental and physical health and wellbeing … and in your control if and when you choose.
Growing and embracing self-love is to …
maintain curiosity about who we are, what we have to offer ourselves, when and where we shine, how we act, and the why (water behind all that we do, think and behave.
invest in ourselves, in getting the skills and support we need to be our biggest selves and to build containers of practice for doing what we love.
Growing and embracing self-love is foundational to longevity of life. It is where true success begins, and is best fostered and sustained in a home that reflects you and your personal energy, the family you bring to life, the workplace you choose to operate in, and the friends you surround yourself with.
Self-love is not romantic … it is fundamental of life itself. And it is yours to have, own and enjoy.
Remember, you will never truly and wholly love anyone or anything else in your life if you choose to ignore your love for yourself as a first and ongoing part of your human existence.
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