One of the more prevalent comments Maree and I often hear amongst people is their wish to be successful, to pursue life with passion and energy.
Sounds like a plan … but here’s the thing. Everyone feels this way, but not everyone is a ‘success story’. So, why not?
Put simply, if you are not certain and clear about specifically what it is you want to achieve you may fall short of achieving your ambitions.
You see, to 'have a passion' to be a great person is too vague. What do you mean by this statement … good at communicating … relationships … health …work? This is so open a statement it becomes an impossible outcome to achieve
The first question you should ask yourself is “Why am I so passionate about life …?”
If the answer is to enjoy the experience or to look forward to spending time with friends and family on weekends and so on, then ‘job done’. This is easily accomplished.
However, if your answer is that you are clearly focused on being the best person you can be, to grow your skills and expertise, and enjoy success in how you choose to live life then you have a future direction you can work on, one which allows you to begin breaking down the over-riding ambition into smaller and more manageable and achievable steps … the beginning of a clear focus, and a place towards which positive energy can be directed.
So … if you are serious about your future, and you have a defined outcome in mind,
the following mental strategies will help you remove any uncertainty,
and replace this with clarity and focus … certainty.
Take full responsibility for he level of clarity you possess or aspire to having
How many of us look to others for direction. Do they possess a crystal ball? Don’t think so. Clarity is not given to you; it’s something you have to develop yourself. It’s a decision!
The amount of clarity about your life you have right now is what you have decided to accept.
But then, not deciding is also a decision – one to remain uncertain about where you are headed … a lack of clarity.
To make a good decision you need to examine the potential directions you could take. To continue considering a number of differing (and therefore competing) directions leads to confusion … a sense of being ‘lost’. Committing to one direction leads naturally to clarity.
Having said that, don’t ignore what is happening around you. It’s possible you may discover things and need to make changes over time to further define your direction and therefore strengthen your clarity. In any case, it’s still your responsibility alone.
Don’t create the opposite of clarity
For all of us there will naturally be thoughts that create fuzziness about our direction. Such thoughts will lead to a lack of clarity and have an adverse effect on progress. Thoughts and actions that can impede on our clarity include:
associating with those who appear to be drifting aimlessly with no direction
surrounding yourself with people (including your partner) whose goals and ambitions conflict with your own
allowing yourself to be distracted with time-wasting habits that have the potential to sway you from your goal(s)
confusing and dulling your emotions and thinking with (too much) junk food, alcohol and the like
overstimulating your brain and emotions with excessive caffeine (eg via coffee) and other ‘bad for you’ foods
depressing yourself about your perceived lack of clarity, and believing you don’t know what to do to change things.
You can immediately overcome the above issues through the application of better and more positive thoughts and actions, as follows:
only allow clear, focused and positive people into your ‘sphere’ – their purpose and direction will have a positive impact on your own thinking
ensure the people you choose to associate with at home, in your social life and at work share similar goals and ambitions to yours
make it a habit to feed your mind with motivational material, be it books, DVD’s and so on
eat healthy – whole foods (eg fruit and vegies appropriate to your body and time of year) help you keep your mind sharp and alert
keep away from stimulants that can cause mood swings and unhealthy thought patterns
focus on your goals and the actions you need to undertake on a daily basis towards their achievement.
Spinning in circles is unproductive, so seeking to take on board strong and positive mental strategies
is a good step towards going in a straight line rather than circling unproductively.
Look to past events where you had clarity
Realistically, we have all experienced times where our level of clarity modulates up and down,
depending on how we are feeling at the time, any apparent external influences etc. A good task to undertake is to consider those times when you have been at extremes – ie highs versus lows – and identify some of the causal factors on both sides.
The simple outcome from this is to apply the positive factors (which will lead to increased clarity) more often and, likewise, reduce those negative factors as much as possible.
Yes, it sounds a little childlike in its simplicity, but in reality it is possible to get ‘ah ha’ moments when reviewing past experiences.
As an example, how do you feel after speaking with someone who is telling you that you need to change something about your life by doing something that goes completely against what you believe? Or, how do you feel after watching an amazing and uplifting movie? Which feeling would you rather have more of?
Use visualisation to improve your clarity
You may believe that your external reality has to be ‘right’ for you to feel clear and focused, but you can also use your imagination to create a feeling of clarity ... to visualize what clarity 'looks like' for you in a perfect world.
However, clarity is more than just a feeling. There's an emotional state associated with it, but it's more than that. When you're really clear, your mind and emotions are centred. Every part of your body feels like they are on the same page … there is no uncertainty, only a powerful state of being to experience.
The following is a visualisation exercise that will help you develop visualising skills towards improved clarity.
Think of a goal you have in place that you would like to work on – ie the goal itself and what its achievement would mean to you.
Select a comfortable chair (not too ‘cosy’), one which will allow you to stay alert – alertness and focus can be improved through verbally stating your actions/intentions.
Begin by directing attention inward, allowing you to focus on the task at hand.
Your visualisation time should be centred on the goal you have pre-selected – the use of positive language and imagery is useful here.
Seek to enhance your visualisation by being very clear on what it is you have to do to achieve your goal– ie what is it you are attempting to achieve, and ensure you have a clear understanding of this in your mind.
Ensure you include all relevant sensory information in this exercise – feel, see, hear, appreciate the experience and the outcomes you seek to achieve.
Engage consistency and regularity in your visualisation
Include ‘being’ qualities and character traits you have identified as integral to the success of the goal.
When visualising, consider the compelling inevitability of successfully achieving the goal – place the images you create in the near future – consider the sub-modalities of colours, sounds and feelings associated with this (we are looking here for evidence of positive reactions).
Repeat this process for all your goals, and on a regular basis as a reinforcing strategy.
Ask for assistance in seeking clarity
Remember that, while you remain solely responsible for the decisions you make, it is a good idea to check in with those you trust to ensure you are still on track, and your clarity or focus remains strong.
On the other hand, you may be aware you need an outside hand to re-boost your energy – it’s not easy to stay 100% on top of things.
Your ‘best bet’ for assistance will be your partner or closest friends … or someone you have total trust in, although don’t forget others in your life you have a (strong) bond with, and even supportive family members.
Make your goals real and achievable by addressing them daily
Remind yourself about how to:
brainstorm your dreams and motivating forces towards identifying goals that have meaning
identify each goal by its outcome, intention and consequences
appreciate that while any goal may be better than no goal, a goal badly constructed is little better a having no goal at all
create goals which are pitched at the right level – not too easy (you’ll lose interest) and not too hard (you may give up in frustration)
develop a set of goals but focus on each separately to ensure clarity
create your goals as ‘experiments’ – remember you can fail to achieve a goal, but you cannot fail an experiment, by its very nature
Both Maree and I continually seek to practice what we preach. The above may sound a little simplistic to those who have a good grasp on where they are heading in life at first, but at the same time it is fair to say that doing the simple things in life can often be the hardest … and can bring the best rewards.
The biggest challenge to face at first is to begin, to develop clear goals, directed focus, and a strong belief in your ability to achieve.
At the beginning you may feel like you are stuck in a state of ambivalence, not sure where to start, or whether you are starting the right things, or even too many things.
Do whatever it takes to break the impasse, maybe something radically different than what you have been doing up till now. For example, if you feel your ‘world’ is unfulfilling, do something completely different for a while.
Don't expect to get everything perfect on the first try. Go out and rack up a string of experiments, and you'll soon be much closer to figuring out what you need to do to have clarity, goals, and success.
However, don't wait for clarity to come to you. You are responsible for creating your own clarity from within. If you lack clarity, then get busy creating it.
If you can achieve clarity by staying within the confines of your world right now, then great.
If not, then leave your comfort zone behind, go ‘outside’, and explore.
Want to learn more about how you can access and grow clarity?
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